Lucy M., Miamisburg Middle School
When She Met the Stars
When she left this earth, I thought that was it for me. The piece of myself that knew me better than anyone and saw me through my first steps and my first day of seventh grade, was gone. The woman who fought through cancer like a cold had been no match for a small blood infection. I thought that when she died, I had to too. Now, I try to live through each day in honor of her. To live like any day could be my last.
On August 29, 2023, I had just awoken from a rough night of sleep, putting on mascara and talking to my best friends. My parents slightly opened the door and peeked in; they said their good mornings and hugged me. Then the storm came. I asked about my grandma, I knew she was ill, and I wept the night before about the fear of her dying, whilst making the gift box I never got to give her. My parents had promised me that she would be okay. So, when I asked about her and got no response, I think I knew. When my whole family was crying, I just sat there, I didn't know how to act, and I felt guilty about it, but I didn’t know what to feel. The only thing I felt was numb. I didn't feel anything for a while after that.
Five days after her death was my aunt's wedding. We buried her and had a huge wedding all in the span of forty-eight hours. I was conflicted against my own thoughts; should I be elated or crying when my aunt is walking down the aisle, knowing that her mother had died four days before her marriage.
The first time I felt, or rather let myself feel, was the night of the wedding when I looked up and physically dropped my jaw at the artwork of the sky. The swirls of purple, orange, and pink were the most beautiful things I've ever seen. My grandpa came over to me and completely engulfed me, breaking down every wall I had built and opening me up to the thought that she was still there, swirling her paintbrush in the above us.
I know that she would only ever want to be happy, only want me to think about the good, about the cookies, and the toast. And she would want me to look up into that gorgeous sunset, clutching my family deep in my soul, and know that she is always going to be building my future alongside me.
So, when I want to give up, to curl in my sheets and cry, her memory is what pushes me forward. I live everyday through her legacy, so I know that when it finally is my time to meet her at the gates of heaven, that I took every breath, like it could be my last.
