Wren R., Oakwood High School
Swimming in the Sea of Anxiety
When I look back at myself in middle school, I have a lot of regrets. So, in the future when I look back at who I was in high school, I don’t want to have those same regrets.
Life didn’t always treat me the best in middle school; I made friends with people who brought me down and left me as a hurt and scared person. For a while now I have been using the way they treated me as an excuse for my negativity. I became scared to make friends due to past traumas so I closed myself off. I was swallowed by the intense current of my anxieties and for the longest time, I felt like I was drowning. But I came to realize that by letting them control how I lived my life, I was giving them power over me. I realized that the time had come for me to take back my power.
Slowly, once I made my realization, I started making progress in simple ways such as small talk and smiles. After a while, I started to notice changes in my thoughts as well. People weren’t always the demons I had thought they were. Not only did I manage to outswim the current, but when I looked around, I realized that the current had mellowed into a simple wave.
Of course, even with an improved attitude, I still experience dark times where the current is overwhelming. However, now, I don’t let it stop me. Instead, I found ways to cope and power through. I used to act out in ways that not only hurt me, but the people close to me as well. So, it was time to find out how to deal with my mental issues positively. Of course, it took a lot of help and work to do that. I started therapy, and although it may have been difficult at first, over time I opened up, and with the help I needed, I realized that I could be a happier person. I just needed to put in the effort to make that happen.
One of my greatest epiphanies was that other people are here for me, and they’re here to help me and support me. Sometimes I still have a hard time believing that, but deep down I know that it’s true. As I progress through my teenage years I hope I get better about reaching out and using the help that others are willing to give instead of taking out my negative emotions on myself.
So far, freshman year has been treating me pretty well. I’ve participated in social events, I’ve joined clubs, and I’ve made friends with who I’m sure I’ll only get closer with over time. Without the new philosophy I adopted I could never be where I am now. Changing my mindset was truly the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. Finally, I can swim in my inner storm. I only wish I had figured out how sooner.
