Carson W., Centerville High School
The Stage''s Steps
The wooden pulpit glared down at me like an angry school teacher. In the moments as I proceeded to the front of the sanctuary of our church multiple thoughts flashed through my mind. The thoughts reeled through my mind. When my father asked me to do the scripture reading, why was I so quick to say yes? Why did the congregation, that I knew so well, always look so solemn? How did one simple verse lengthen to what looked like an essay?
The three steps which lead to the stage seemed to swirl and grow before my eyes. My back felt the stares of the congregation burn into the collar of my polo shirt. Once I had made my way to the pulpit panic erupted in my mind. What if the bookmark had fallen out? What if I read the wrong verses? The what-ifs ran through my mind like a hamster in a wheel.
What was I supposed to do next anyway? I was to read the verse, pray, and step back to my seat without tripping and falling on my shoelaces. To my ears, my voice croaked out like a frog with laryngitis. As I read the verse I tried not to trip over myself, or slur my words into one, incomprehensible line of gibberish. My hands shook as I opened my bible to the bookmarked page. My eyes skimmed the verse numbers to our Sunday scripture reading, Joshua 1:9 or had he said Joshua 9:1? The numbers frolicked across the page while the letters waltzed to the soft piano tune in the background. As I read the verse aloud, I dared not take my eyes off of it, fearing they would return to the wrong verse. “Joshua 1:9 says, ‘Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.’ Joshua 1:9”
I stepped down and felt my body float over the floor, not even touching the steps as I descended. The members of the church, in my eyes, no longer wore solemn faces, but slight smiles. As I sat down, the pew had never felt so comfortable and safe.
My mind kept replaying the events of the past few moments. I realized, with clarity, that the next time I stood in front of a crowd, I would be okay as long as I kept calm and remembered that it was just reading and talking, and truthfully I had been doing both for almost my entire life. As we stood to sing the next song, I looked at the steps to the pulpit. The same steps had seemed to tower above me minutes before, now looked as small as a pile of books. Those steps had become big steps to building my confidence.
