Reese H., St. Charles Borromeo School
Being the Light
I felt as if I were waiting forever. As any theater kid will tell you, the period between auditions and casting is an agonizing test of patience. I was particularly anxious about this show because I finally had a chance to get the lead role. I had never prepared so well for an audition. My theater friends told me I nailed it, and I thought so too.
During those waiting days, news was bubbling up about a life-threatening virus. Soon after, the country would shut down for a temporary quarantine. But as we know, it was anything but brief. The theater ultimately cancelled the show, so the cast list was never posted. My “big break” was crushed.
A month later, I was still moping. Other in-person activities were cancelled as well, and there is only so much “virtual” one can take. I became very lonely and depressed, and I was feeling incredibly sorry for myself. So much so, I couldn’t even see how much the isolation was affecting other people.
That was until April 19, when I learned that one of my classmates had taken her own life. She was only 12 years old. A star volleyball player, she loved sports as much as I love theater. The opportunity to do what she loved was taken from her too.
I still remember shaking after my mom told me the news. Our class group chat was blowing up with messages, and I was too in shock to respond. I don’t know what else may have led my classmate to end her life, but isolation didn’t help. Suddenly, I felt selfish for getting so fixated on the missed theater opportunity. Deep down I knew there would be more chances. Even in my sadness, I could still see a light that my classmate wasn’t able to see.
This was when my focus changed completely. Her family and friends are still struggling to understand it six months later. When in devastating times like this, if you can’t find the good, you have to BE the good. Shortly after her death, I joined a counseling group at my school. We talked about ways to let other students know that, even in these hard times, no one is alone. My friends and I started selling bracelets, with every penny going to a fund that was created in my classmate’s name. We have raised over $400! I have plans to participate in a Walk for Hope wearing a “Be Kind” t-shirt bearing my classmate’s name, and I am searching for other ways to raise awareness of mental health issues.
My perspective on life has changed dramatically since the pandemic began. I’ve learned that happiness isn’t about being in the spotlight, it’s about being a light for others. Young people need hope. While I will always love theater, I now have a desire to pursue a career in psychology. The unexpected events of the past seven months have given me a new purpose.
