Kaitlyn B., Centerville High School
Through My Eyes
Throughout the entirety of middle school, I dealt with a series of different fake friends. These were all different kinds of people. They all had one thing in common: at one point or another, they were my friends. The first group told me I was too much, which ironically made me feel like I couldn’t be enough. I tried to shrink myself to fit in. The second group felt like my people. On the outside, they were all kind. No one would think they could do anything wrong. Things felt perfect until I began to notice things. They began hanging out without me, and they constantly laughed at things that they refused to tell me. One day, without any warning, they left. I remember it perfectly. I was sitting in the car when I got a text. Then more texts came. At school, they approached me. They said heinous things about me and told me something I could never repeat.
It felt like a hard punch in the gut, and I could feel my self-worth crumbling. I felt broken, unfixable; I blamed them, I blamed myself, I blamed everyone possible. There was no one to blame; it was just life. After months of tears, I finally realized something: they didn’t care about me, so why should I let what they said to me affect me so much? I made a plan to improve my confidence level. I took things slowly, one step at a time. I volunteered and focused on being my best. I focused on my future and having fun rather than the scars they left. Slowly but surely, my self-worth began building until it flourished into confidence.
Without all the negative thoughts and voices, I could be confident in who I was. I could hold my head high and know that I was on my own in fixing what they broke. Confidence was the key to me living a better life and working towards a better future. I realized that their leaving me was one of the best things that could have happened. Working through the loss and dejection allowed me to reach the level of self-worth and confidence I carry myself with today. Rather than ignoring the negatives, it is better to recognize them and work through them. Ignorance isn’t always bliss.
Having to see their faces in school reminds me of just how far I’ve come and just how strong I am. To anyone struggling with teen life or social issues, from me to you, it''s okay. You’ll work through the negatives; you can and will recover, eventually. And when you do, you’ll be better than before they left. Just wait until they see you again. Leaving was the best thing they could have done for me. They allowed me to grow my self-confidence. They made me who I am, and for that I am eternally grateful. I wouldn’t dare try to rewrite this story.
